We Love Casual Abuse.

We love casual abuse in this country or at least it feels like it.

I am leaving my school after six years, for another school. I feel oppressed- depressed- and one of the reasons is the casual abuse I’ve had in the last six years. Only a very few kids do this. It should be a piece of cake to deal with but, the top brass, ¬†it’s not on their radar. Why? I don’t get it.

“Don’t take it personally,” ¬†people say. Eh? What other nonsense do you want to come out with? “It doesn’t matter who started it”? Of course it bloody does!

Is there something wrong with me? I like most kids and they like me. Why is it OK for a few to abuse teachers?

I think there is something wrong with me.

Help Me

Something is wrong with me. A small thing is worrying me- it’ll probably come to nothing- but I can’t get over it.

And I can’t get away. Everything I look at on the Internet is logged. There are CCTV cameras everywhere. I am feeling 20 years of emotions all at once: compassion, grief, desire, guilt, sadness and more. My head is buzzing and I feel sick.

There are two worlds: in one world, you can explore feelings, talk and make mistakes. The other is a world of contracts where certain wrongdoings are like a heart attack: the end. I have too much of the latter and not enough of the former.

I need help, and I need to be brave.