Aha! Welcome back, my old “friend”: Guilt.
I prepare to go on holiday with my wife for nearly two weeks. My sons are staying at home with their mother (not my wife) with whom they live. I’ll go away with them after I get back.
Being an absent Dad, I’m riddled with guilt, no more than when the summer holidays come and I leave my boys.
Sometimes, I feel like holidays are something to be got through.
I suffer from mild Crohn’s disease together with a touch of Ankylosing Spondylitis and occasional bouts of uveitis.
The worst thing is the fatigue. I’m a middle-aged man so should be productive, working hard at my job then coming home to tile the bathroom. I wish I could!
I’m lucky- my Crohn’s is mild. It can be a terrible disease and I feel for people who have it severely.
My diseases sometimes make me melancholy- is that what used to be called “phlegmatic”? I’m not sure. I’m constantly questioning my place in the world. Happily, I do realise how lucky I am.
Well- off to watch telly.
I’m very preoccupied with the Azelle Rodney case. Opinion is polarized: “One less armed drug-dealer on the streets”; “Executed by the police”.
I hold neither of these opinions and think that Azelle Rodney shouldn’t have gone out armed and that the police officer shouldn’t have fired when he did.
I’m so sick of society falling over itself to apologise to armed criminals, or their families. I take no pleasure in this fella’s death. We could always just try letting armed drug dealers have their way. See how we like that.
I understand the importance of having strict rules regarding use of firearms by police. Some have suggested the officer was racist- that he had an irrational fear of black people. Perhaps he had a wholly-rational fear of people with guns.